So you want to be a Manager part 2: Common Pitfalls for New Managers

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So, you’ve finally been promoted to management. Congratulations! Or depending on the situation, I’m sorry? You’re officially in charge. Whether you landed here intentionally or not there are a variety of stumbling blocks you may find helpful to know about in advance. I’ve been the victim of many of these myself, but with a little planning, discipline and the foreknowledge contained within this post, you can hopefully navigate through the worst of it.

1. The “My Way or the Highway” Trap

You might be bursting with fresh ideas and eager to implement them, but remember, you’re not a lone wolf anymore. Dictating orders and ignoring your team’s input is a recipe for resentment and disengagement. Instead, foster open communication, actively listen to your team’s perspectives, and be willing to collaborate.

Alienating your coworkers to feed your own ego will ultimately create more work for you. You will lose respect if you ignore the opinions of others and they may even start working against you. As long as the majority of your subordinates think you are in the right place the naysayers can trash talk all day behind your back without gaining much traction. Employees who have had input on a particular plan or project are more likely to support it for the long term and make implementation easier.

As a manager, your job isn’t to be a dictator, it’s to be a facilitator, a guide, and sometimes even a referee. You need to create an environment where your team feels heard, respected, and empowered to contribute.

Actively listening to your team is crucial.This is a recurring theme you will encounter often in your management education. Encourage them to share their ideas, concerns, and feedback. Don’t interrupt, don’t dismiss their opinions, and actually consider what they have to say. You might be surprised by the valuable insights they offer.

Embrace collaboration. Don’t treat your team like a bunch of mindless drones. Involve them in the decision-making process, especially when it directly affects their work. Brainstorm solutions together, solicit their input on projects, and create a sense of shared ownership.

Be flexible in the manner of a yoga instructor, don’t be a drill Sergeant. Your way might not always be the only way. Be open to different approaches, perspectives, and ideas. Sometimes, the best solutions come from unexpected sources. And hey, even if you ultimately decide to go in a different direction, at least your team will know their voices were heard.

Explain your reasoning. When you do make a decision, especially one that might not be popular, take the time to explain your reasoning to your team. Transparency builds trust and helps them understand the “why” behind your actions.

Acknowledge and appreciate your team. Let them know that you value their contributions and appreciate their efforts. A little recognition goes a long way in building morale and fostering a positive work environment.

Avoiding the “My Way or the Highway” trap is all about building a collaborative and inclusive environment where your team feels valued and respected. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have all the answers and that sometimes, the best ideas come from the collective wisdom of your team. So, ditch the dictator hat, embrace collaboration, and watch your team thrive. It may seem like this approach takes more time, and in the beginning it does. Consider it an investment up front for greater productivity and less stress in the future.

2. The “Hero Complex”

It’s tempting to try to do everything yourself, especially when you’re used to being a top performer. But as a manager, your job is to empower your team, not micromanage them. Delegate effectively, trust your team’s abilities, and focus on the bigger picture. We all dream of being that lone hero who swoops in to save the day. It’s exciting, inspiring, and completely unrealistic when it comes to management. The “hero complex” is a tricky mindset that can sabotage your effectiveness as a leader. It’s that urge to do everything yourself, to be the savior, the problem-solver, the one with all the answers.

While it might seem effective at first, this mindset can lead to burnout, resentment from your team, and ultimately, hinder your organization’s success. So, how do you ditch the cape and embrace a more collaborative and sustainable approach to leadership?

First, you need to be aware of the “hero complex” symptoms. Are you a micromanager? Do you find yourself hovering over your team like a helicopter, second-guessing their decisions, and constantly correcting their work? This may be necessary in some situations with new employees, but it can be a distracting nuisance to more experienced people. Are you taking on too much or volunteering for every task, even those that could be delegated? Do you refuse assistance from others, believing you can do it all yourself? Are you working long hours, sacrificing your personal life and well-being to “save the day”? If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to take a step back and reassess your approach.

I know you don’t want to give the appearance of being lazy by giving away all your work, but you need to consider the future. If you are too busy doing work that other people can do, you are not spending the time you could be on actual management, which is what you’re getting paid for.

One of the most effective ways to combat the “hero complex” is to become a master delegator. Identify tasks that can be handled by others and assign them accordingly. Provide clear instructions, offer support, and then trust your team to get the job done. Not only will this free up your time for more strategic tasks, but it will also empower your team and foster their growth.  

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or input from your team. Encourage brainstorming sessions, solicit feedback, and create an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their ideas. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Often, the best solutions come from a collective effort.

It’s important to establish clear boundaries between your work life and personal life. Don’t let work consume all your time and energy. Set realistic expectations, prioritize tasks, and make time for activities that help you recharge and de-stress.

You’re not Superman (or Superwoman). You have limitations, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to admit when you need help, delegate tasks, and rely on your team’s expertise. Burnout is ugly and it can escalate from verbal abuse to career ending substance abuse in a heartbeat. I’ve seen it more often than most would believe.

As a manager, your job is to guide your team towards achieving organizational goals. Don’t get bogged down in the minutiae of every task. Focus on the bigger picture, delegate effectively, and empower your team to handle the details. When your team achieves a goal, celebrate their success! Acknowledge their contributions, give credit where credit is due, and foster a sense of shared accomplishment. This helps shift the focus from individual heroics to collective achievements.

The “hero complex” might seem like a noble impulse, but it can ultimately hinder your effectiveness as a manager. By embracing delegation, collaboration, and a healthy work-life balance, you can skip the lone wolf act and become a leader who empowers their team, fosters growth, and achieves sustainable success. Remember, true leadership is about inspiring and guiding others, not trying to do everything yourself.

3. The “Friend Zone”

The ‘Friend Zone’ is a perilous territory for any manager. While building rapport with your team is essential, getting too chummy can blur the lines and undermine your authority. Suddenly, you’re not the boss; you’re just one of the gang. And that’s a recipe for disaster when it comes to making tough decisions, enforcing accountability, and achieving goals.

I have been put in this situation many times. In my case I had often been friends with my coworkers for months or years and then got promoted above them. I learned the hard way that relationships need to change when you become accountable. Good people you thought you knew well will try to gain advantage or get you to make exceptions which will compromise your integrity. 

So, how do you strike that delicate balance between being approachable and maintaining a professional distance? Here’s your guide to escaping the friend zone and solidifying your role as a respected leader:

From day one, establish clear expectations and professional boundaries. This doesn’t mean being cold or aloof, but it does mean being mindful of your interactions. Avoid oversharing personal details, participating in gossip, or engaging in social activities that might compromise your objectivity.

Consistency is key to maintaining authority. Apply rules and expectations fairly across the board, regardless of personal relationships. Don’t play favorites or make exceptions that could create resentment or perceptions of unfairness.

Don’t shy away from addressing performance issues or providing constructive criticism, even if it feels awkward with someone you consider a friend. Remember, your primary responsibility is to the success of the team and the organization. Address concerns promptly, professionally, and with specific examples.

While occasional social gatherings can be team-building opportunities, be mindful of how often you socialize with your team outside of work. Excessive socializing can blur boundaries and make it harder to maintain a professional dynamic during work hours. If you socialize with some people and not others you will be accused of favoritism and give rise to discontent.

Be mindful of your language and how you address your team. Maintain a professional tone, even in casual conversations. Avoid using overly familiar or casual language that could undermine your authority. Avoid anything resembling trash talk. Your friends will often forgive and forget minor offenses and more easily accept poor jokes. Your subordinates will not forget. If you are in charge, people are paying more attention than you think. 

Remember, your role is to lead, guide, and inspire your team. While building rapport is important, your primary focus should be on achieving goals and fostering a productive work environment. Don’t be afraid to make tough decisions, even if they’re not popular with everyone.

Ask for feedback from your team, your peers, or your supervisor about your management style. Are you striking the right balance between approachability and authority? Are there areas where you could improve? Be open to constructive criticism and willing to adjust your approach as needed.

Navigating the “friend zone” in management requires a delicate balance. By setting clear boundaries, maintaining professionalism, and prioritizing your role as a leader, you can build positive relationships with your team while still commanding respect and achieving your goals or attaining mission accomplishment.  It’s about being approachable but not overly familiar, friendly but not a friend. And remember, sometimes, a little distance can go a long way in building trust and credibility.

4. The “Ostrich Syndrome”

The “Ostrich Syndrome” – that tempting tendency to bury your head in the sand when problems arise, hoping they’ll magically disappear. It’s a common pitfall for new managers (and let’s be honest, even seasoned ones sometimes). But just like a real ostrich, ignoring danger won’t make it go away. In fact, it usually makes things worse.

Do you find yourself avoiding problems and hoping they will solve themselves? Perhaps you ignore conflicting personalities, hoping their clashes and disagreements will resolve themselves. Maybe you don’t like difficult conversations, particularly performance reviews and other feedback sessions. Are you in denial of negative trends, performance metrics, or customer complaints? Are you a procrastinator, hoping that a problem will go away or that someone else will solve it?

I have done all these things because it felt easier in the short term to avoid these uncomfortable situations, yet the long-term consequences were a snake in the grass. I thought there was wisdom in not creating more work for myself. Why open a can of worms, if it’s not broken don’t fix it. Pick your idiom or excuse. The fact is the worms will get out eventually and it’s easier to change the oil instead of having to replace the whole engine. Imagine having to explain to an investigative panel how you knew about a problem and could have solved it and you didn’t. This can be detrimental to your team, your organization, and your own reputation as a leader.  

The sooner you address a problem, the easier it is to resolve. Don’t wait for issues to fester and grow. Be proactive, identify potential challenges early on, and take action before they escalate.

Equip yourself with the tools and strategies to tackle problems effectively. You need to truly hear and understand the perspectives of those involved. Learn how to mediate disagreements and find common ground. Use data to identify trends, pinpoint root causes, and make informed decisions. Utilize structured approaches to evaluate options and make sound choices.  

Encourage open and honest communication within your team. Create a safe space for people to voice concerns, share feedback, and raise issues without fear of retribution. Regular check-ins, performance reviews, and an “open door” policy can help facilitate this.  

You don’t have to make decisions from a vacuum. Seek advice from mentors, colleagues, or even external resources when facing challenging situations. Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide valuable insights and solutions.

Those difficult conversations? Yeah, they’re not going away. But the longer you avoid them, the more stressful they become. Practice your communication skills, prepare for the conversation, and approach it with empathy and a solutions-oriented mindset.

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human (and a manager!). Instead of trying to hide or ignore your mistakes, own them, analyze what went wrong, and learn from the experience.

The “Ostrich Syndrome” might offer temporary comfort, but it’s a recipe for long-term trouble. By embracing a proactive, problem-solving approach, you can conquer this common pitfall and become a more effective and respected leader. So, lift your head high, face those challenges head-on, and watch your leadership skills soar.

5. The “Know-It-All” Illusion

The “know-it-all” illusion is a sticky swamp that can ensnare even the most well-intentioned managers. It’s that deceptive belief that you have all the answers, that your way is the best way, and that your experience trumps everyone else’s. This mindset can lead to a host of management mishaps, from stifling creativity to alienating your team.  

So, how do you break free from this illusion and embrace a more collaborative and effective leadership style? By being open minded and listening. I know some of these points have been rehashed, but they need to be driven home.

Newsflash: you don’t know everything. And that’s okay! Nobody expects you to be an omniscient being. Recognize that your knowledge and experience have boundaries, and be open to learning from others. Embrace the fact that there’s always more to learn, and be willing to admit when you don’t have the answers.

Instead of dominating conversations and dictating solutions, take a step back and listen to your team. Encourage them to share their ideas, perspectives, and expertise. You might be surprised by the valuable insights they offer. Active listening not only helps you gather information but also shows your team that you value their contributions.  

Don’t just ask questions to appear engaged. Genuinely seek to understand different viewpoints, challenge your own assumptions, and explore alternative solutions. Asking thoughtful questions demonstrates humility and a willingness to learn, which can foster trust and respect within your team. 

Recognize that your team members bring a variety of backgrounds, experiences, and skills to the table. Encourage diversity of thought, and create an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their ideas, even if they differ from your own.

Don’t just tolerate feedback; actively seek it out. Ask your team, your peers, and your superiors for their honest assessments of your performance and management style. Be receptive to constructive criticism, and use it as an opportunity to grow and improve.

View every challenge, every mistake, and every interaction as a learning opportunity. Embrace continuous improvement, seek out professional development opportunities, and stay curious about new ideas and approaches.

It takes confidence to admit when you don’t have all the answers. Instead of trying to bluff your way through, be honest and say “I don’t know.” Then, demonstrate a willingness to learn, research the issue, or seek advice from others.

The “know-it-all” illusion can be a tempting trap, but it’s a recipe for stagnation and missed opportunities. By embracing humility, actively listening, and cultivating a learning mindset, you can shed this illusion and become a more effective, respected, and successful leader. Remember, true knowledge comes from a willingness to learn, not a pretense of knowing it all.

6. The “Burnout Express” 

Burnout can be a fast track to misery for new managers. Suddenly, you’re juggling more responsibilities than a clown at a birthday party, facing demands from every direction, and feeling the pressure to prove yourself. It’s like trying to drink from a firehose while riding a unicycle – overwhelming and unsustainable.

Here’s the thing: burnout doesn’t just affect you. It impacts your team, your decision-making, and ultimately, the success of your organization. So, before you reach the point of no return, let’s talk about how to derail that “Burnout Express”:

You’re not superhuman, like we talked about with the hero complex. Don’t try to be everything to everyone. Set realistic goals for yourself and your team, and don’t overcommit. Learn to say “no” when necessary, and delegate tasks effectively.

Not all tasks are created equal. Learn to prioritize effectively, focusing on the most important and urgent items first. Use tools like to-do lists, calendars, and project management software to stay organized and on track.

It’s easy to let work consume your life, especially when you’re feeling the pressure. But neglecting your physical and mental health is a recipe for disaster. Make time for exercise, healthy eating, sleep, and activities that help you de-stress and recharge.

Connect with other managers, mentors, or friends who understand the challenges of leadership. Share your experiences, vent your frustrations, and seek advice. Having a support system can make a huge difference in navigating the ups and downs of management.

Step away from your desk regularly throughout the day. Go for a walk, grab a coffee, or simply close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. And when you’re off work, truly disconnect. Resist the urge to check emails or answer calls. Give yourself time to recharge and come back refreshed.

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process that often starts with subtle signs like:

  • Increased irritability
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Loss of motivation
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Physical symptoms (headaches, fatigue, etc.)

If you notice these signs, take action. Talk to your supervisor, seek support from a trusted colleague, or consider taking a break. If this support system isn’t enough try reaching out to a professional therapist for guidance.

The transition to management can be a thrilling ride, but it’s important to pace yourself and avoid the “Burnout Express.” By setting realistic expectations, prioritizing your well-being, and building a strong support system, you can navigate the challenges of leadership and achieve sustainable success. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it’s an essential part of being an effective manager.

7. The “Feedback Vacuum”

A “feedback vacuum” is like a silent killer in the workplace. It’s that eerie silence when you have no idea how your team is feeling, what challenges they’re facing, or whether they’re even remotely engaged in their work. It’s like driving with a blindfold on – you might think everything’s fine until you crash headfirst into a wall of discontent.

As a manager, it’s your responsibility to break that silence and create a culture of open and honest communication. Here’s how to avoid or cope with a feedback vacuum.

Don’t assume everything is hunky-dory just because nobody’s complaining (or maybe they’re just complaining to each other). Actively solicit feedback from your team. Make it a regular part of your management routine. Here are a few ways to do that:

  • Regular check-ins: Schedule one-on-one meetings with your team members to discuss their progress, challenges, and suggestions.
  • Team meetings: Dedicate time in team meetings for open discussions and feedback sessions.
  • Surveys and questionnaires: Use anonymous surveys to gather feedback on specific topics or gauge overall team morale.  
  • Suggestion boxes (yes, they still exist!): Provide a physical or virtual suggestion box where employees can anonymously share their thoughts and ideas.  

People need to feel safe speaking their minds without fear of retribution. Foster a culture of trust and respect where employees feel comfortable sharing both positive and negative feedback. Here’s how:

  • Lead by example: Be open to feedback yourself, and demonstrate that you value constructive criticism.
  • Confidentiality: Assure your team that their feedback will be treated confidentially (when appropriate).
  • Non-judgmental attitude: Listen without interrupting or getting defensive. Acknowledge their perspectives, even if you don’t agree with them.
  • Follow up: Show that you take feedback seriously by taking action on suggestions and addressing concerns.

Sometimes, feedback isn’t explicitly stated but rather conveyed through subtle cues. Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and changes in behavior. If someone seems withdrawn, disengaged, or less productive, it might be a sign that something’s amiss.

Don’t rely solely on formal feedback mechanisms. Observe your team in action. Pay attention to how they interact with each other, how they approach their work, and how they respond to challenges. These observations can provide valuable insights into their engagement, morale, and potential issues that might not be voiced directly.

If you do uncover issues through feedback or observation, don’t just treat the symptoms. Dig deeper to understand the root cause of the problem. Is it a lack of resources, unclear expectations, personality conflicts, or something else entirely? Addressing the underlying issue is crucial for creating lasting solutions.

A feedback vacuum can be detrimental to team morale, productivity, and innovation. By actively soliciting feedback, creating a safe space for communication, and addressing concerns proactively, you can cultivate a culture of open dialogue and continuous improvement. Remember, feedback is a gift, even when it’s wrapped in sandpaper. Embrace it, learn from it, and watch your team thrive.

8. The “Comparison Game”

It’s a sly saboteur that can creep into any manager’s mind, whispering doubts and fueling insecurities. You start comparing yourself to other managers – their leadership styles, their achievements, their seemingly effortless charisma – and suddenly, you feel inadequate, like you’re falling short.

This constant comparison can be exhausting, demoralizing, and ultimately, counterproductive. It distracts you from your own strengths, undermines your confidence, and prevents you from developing your own authentic leadership style.  

So, how do you break free from this mental trap and focus on your own path? Here’s your guide to silencing those annoying voices and embracing your unique leadership journey:

Instead of focusing on what others are doing better, take time to acknowledge your own strengths and accomplishments. What are you good at? What unique skills and perspectives do you bring to the table? Celebrate your successes, big and small, and remind yourself of the value you bring to your team and organization.

Everyone’s leadership journey is different. Don’t get caught up comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty. Focus on your own progress, your own goals, and your own development. Celebrate your milestones, learn from your setbacks, and keep moving forward at your own pace.

Stop “shoulding” all over yourself. “I should be more decisive like Sarah,” or “I should be more charismatic like John.” These “shoulds” are just negative thoughts disguised as helpful advice. Instead, focus on what authentically works for you and your team.

Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. It’s easy to get sucked into the highlight reels of others, creating a distorted view of reality. Limit your time on social media, especially if you find yourself feeling inadequate or envious after scrolling through your feeds.

Take time to appreciate what you have, both personally and professionally. Focus on the positive aspects of your job, your team, and your accomplishments. Gratitude can help shift your perspective from lack to abundance, reducing the urge to compare.  

Connect with experienced managers or mentors who can offer guidance, support, and a different perspective. Talking to someone who’s been there can help you navigate challenges, gain confidence, and realize that everyone’s journey has its ups and downs.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership. Embrace your unique personality, strengths, and experiences. Develop your own authentic leadership style that resonates with you and your team.

The “Comparison Game” is a quagmire that can drain your energy and hinder your growth. By focusing on your own strengths, celebrating your progress, and embracing your individuality, you can break free from this mental game and become a more confident and effective leader. Remember, your journey is your own. Focus on your path, learn from your experiences, and celebrate your successes. You’ve got this!

Navigating the Management Maze

Becoming an effective manager is a journey, not a destination. It’s about continuous learning, self-reflection, and adapting to new challenges. By being aware of these common pitfalls and taking proactive steps to avoid them, you can increase your chances of success and build a strong foundation for your management career.

Even if you stumble along the way (we all do!), remember that mistakes are opportunities for growth. Learn from them, adjust your course, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!

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