Category: The Ravings of Mad Mike

What can we do for you?

Image by Michi S from Pixabay

When pilots tour an air traffic facility one of the most common questions is: What can we as pilots do to make the lives of air traffic controllers easier? We do appreciate the concern. As you can imagine, this particular topic is often discussed in detail when it’s just us controllers, but we tend to be a little more political when our customers are in the room. Yes, customers. Whether we like it or not, air traffic is a service industry. That certainly doesn’t mean that the customers are always right, because if they were, air traffic controllers would be out of a job. Here is my disclaimer before we get too far: The views and opinions expressed in this blog are my own and do not represent the official policies, positions, or opinions of the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) or any other governmental agency. I do not speak on behalf of the FAA, and any information provided is based on my personal experience and knowledge.

Air traffic controllers are aware of the stress that pilots face, many of my fellow controllers are pilots, some of them were even pilot instructors. That being said, when we’re on the spot and stressed out, we tend to have little tolerance for poor piloting. We generally don’t lash out directly unless we’re really at the end of our rope (which can happen several times on a bad day). On frequency you may notice a hardening of tone, a shortness that indicates we have a lot on our plate and the latest pilot error has just drastically increased our workload. 

I think this reaction to stress is only human. After almost 30 years of stressful work, I still lose my temper sometimes. I think I’ve only raised my voice twice to my wife in 13 years. I get angry more often with my 8 year old son, but I’m even keeled enough where just a slight change in tone lets him know he messed up. I might say something like “I know jumping on the couch is fun, but it would be a shame if that resulted in the Playstation power cord being lost for the rest of the day.” But still, I have probably seriously raised my voice to him 3 times in the last 2 years, and he can really push my buttons. I get pissed off at a pilot almost everyday of the week, sometimes more than once a day. I generally don’t express it out loud in any way and it only lasts a few minutes, but in that moment I feel more disrespected than from anything my wife or kid has ever done. Part of this comes from the fact that most people are not risking lives or property when they mess up, so our expectations tend to be higher. Also keep in mind that I talk to hundreds of pilots every day, so from that perspective one or two isn’t bad.

It’s not that the pilot necessarily made some huge mistake or did something intentionally wrong, it’s the particular situation. Imagine you are already stressed out, at the end of your mental capacity trying to keep 12 other people happy and one person has to go and break the flow by slapping you in the face, or careening into the final or following the wrong airplane or circling in your departure corridor. Objectively, I get it, pilots are human and they make mistakes. Also, I work at a training airport and many of the pilots are either students, very inexperienced or the dreaded ‘weekend warriors’. The problem is, and this may be my age talking, I believe it’s getting worse.

There are a few common issues that I have seen an increase in over the past 18 years at my particular airport. Flight planning seems to be a big one. I don’t know if it’s the reliance on technology or a change in culture but more aircraft are coming to the airport with little to no idea where they are going. They have more trouble finding the airport than back in the day when they were just using VORs and TACANs. I’ve had a pilot try to get a landing clearance telling me that according to their IPad they were five miles south. We had them squawk ident and scrolled out the RADAR to find them almost 30 miles south in restricted military airspace. 

There are more people coming off the runway onto the taxiway and not knowing which FBO (fixed base operator) they want to go to. They might want self-serve fuel and not know that they exited on the wrong side of the runway, They get clearance to county transient parking and end up turning into the restricted commuter ramp and never tell ground control they need progressive taxi instructions.

Yes, I am venting a little. I should mention that the vast majority of professional pilots are spot on and know exactly what they are doing. It can actually be quite enjoyable to work with a half-dozen aircraft that all respond immediately and correctly to every instruction. 

Let’s get back on track and talk about flight planning. I’m not a pilot but I did some flight planning and navigation training in the Marine Corps. We spent about 80 hours in the air flying all over the country keeping track of everything from fuel to our exact location. We used a variety of tools including pen and paper, an antiquated calculation device we called a ‘whiz wheel’, TACANs, VOR/DME, INS(inertial navigation system), pressure, and celestial navigation. Yes, I have navigated on a moving aircraft going 400 knots with a flipping sextant sticking out of the top of the aircraft, taking three star, sun or moon readings at 4 minutes each and using an almanac to triangulate our position on a chart and then dead reckoning to adjust the heading. Our instructors had fancy hand held Global Positioning System (GPS) devices, which were new at the time, to check our work. Despite all the amazing technology of the 90’s, the one thing that kept us afloat were checklists. Yes, checklists. We had so many checklists that we had checklists for our checklists. I have heard that pilots use these things too.

I’m sure flight planning has changed quite a lot in the last 30 years, but who knows, in the tower we still have paper versions of everything. I would hope that you are plotting your route of flight on a valid up to date published chart or digital version. You want to know if you are creeping up on or going through a class B, C, or D airspace and who you should be talking to. You want to know about the artillery range that you’re flying right next to. You should be aware if you are on someone’s final or in their departure corridor. Know the new landmarks. Southern California changes relatively fast. That reservoir you used as a landmark 3 years ago might be a condo development and those smoke stacks on the shore that were such an eyesore have been torn down and if you forgot where they were, suddenly you’re careening into my departure corridor. Know the airport layout. 

So you’re a little lost in the air, you call in 7 miles east when you are actually 5 miles due north and you are asking to land on a runway that doesn’t exist. We got you. Now we know you are new and will guide you in with caution (as soon as we verify you’re going to the correct airport.) Yes, people try to land at an uncontrolled airport 7 miles north of us all the time thinking it’s us. Sometimes they succeed. There are some funny stories there which I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to tell. Just make sure you are landing at the right airport or the runway might be half as long as you think it is, or even better your aircraft is surrounded by Marines with loaded rifles before you even get on the taxiway.

Awareness of your location is a key concept that deserves some more time. Again, more and more often aircraft seem to be flying through arrival and departure corridors without talking to anyone. Fairly often a slow mover (ie. Skyhawk, Cherokee or almost any single engine prop) will call up on a 10 mile final at 3500 feet asking for a straight-in to the runway, completely oblivious to the global express descending out of 6000 4 miles behind them. Or someone will be off shore in the departure corridor circling at 3000 feet ‘whale watching’ while departing jets are trying to climb through that altitude. Then there is the classic response when you tell certain pilots that what they are doing is not safe, it’s something to the effect of: ‘well we’re VFR and this is uncontrolled airspace so…’. I can’t help but think, who are they going to take with them on their flaming plummet with that attitude?  It’s like walking through an active rifle range, having faith people will see you and stop firing, or maybe the big sky theory is going to save them. But then again, I suppose it’s job security.

So you’re on the ground, landed and safe. Wait, what’s a safety area? The safety area is a protected area on either side of the runway that needs to be kept clear in case an aircraft veers off the runway. Apparently this is not common at other airports but our runway safety area goes right up to the taxiway. Make sure you are up to speed on the runway and taxiway markings at the airport where you are landing. If you stop inside the safety area, air traffic control is not supposed to land or depart any airplanes on the runway. You can imagine how happy the bizjets are to be sent around because some cessna stopped just over the white line and is fishing for a ground frequency. Poof, 500 to 1000 dollars up in fumes depending on the type of jet and how far they have to fly to get back on final. All because someone didn’t scope out the airport they were flying into.

If you need help or don’t know where you are going, please say something. I know sometimes controllers can sound intimidating and impatient, and I suppose to a large extent we are, but it is our job to help you. If you need help, tell us. We can’t read your mind and when we’re busy we rely on the idea that pilots will do exactly what they are supposed to do in order to keep our plan in motion. If something disrupts the plan, then we adapt, but it’s more work and probably shortens our lifespans. If I tell you to follow the Mooney on a 3 mile final and you tell me you have traffic in sight, I’m not expecting you to follow the Centurion on a 1.5 mile final where your base turn tries to t-bone the Mooney. If you are not sure where your traffic is just tell us you’re still looking or ask us to call your base turn. 

I notice more pilots who do not know basic instructions and terminology. I understand that companies want the ground school to be relatively easy because, well, more customers is more money, but maybe we can have a more comprehensive review at the end or something? We issued a go around once to a pilot who had no idea what we were talking about. After the resulting pilot deviation, they had to call on the phone and have us explain to them how to do a go-around. Seriously. More often I’m getting pilots who don’t know what ‘the option’ is. This is a clearance that means you can do a full stop, stop and go, touch and go, or low approach. I use this often because about one in five student pilots will go around anyway and about one in ten will do whatever they want regardless of what you tell them. I get it, they are training and nervous. If I clear them for the option, then I’m ready for any surprises. At least twice a week I hear something like ‘Ah, no tower we’re actually requesting a touch and go…’ and I have to explain how yep, that is part of the option.

Ok, that was a lot of ranting. To summarize, in order to help controllers more, pilots can plan better, listen carefully to the frequency, speak up if they are confused or not sure of something, and study hard before you get into that plane by yourself. I feel like somewhere in that sentence could be a basic mantra for living your life, but that’s a topic for another post. 

Now that we’ve ragged on pilots for a while let’s talk about what controllers can do better. What? Controllers aren’t perfect? What blasphemy is this! It’s true though, we are all human and until that blessed day when our future AI overlords take our jobs too, you have to deal with us. 

Controllers tend to talk fast. This happens to me fairly regularly. I get excited and start going full speed and about the third time I hear ‘say again?’ I realize it’s time to calm down, take a breath,  slow my speech rate, and focus on proper enunciation. Some controllers never figure it out and they become more frustrated with the pilots’ lack of comprehension and compliance. It makes a long and frustrating career for those controllers. Controllers have hearing problems too. I know my baseline goes down every year and I have to keep turning the volume up loader. Between my poor ears and the number of foreign pilots training, one of my favorite phrases has become ‘Say Again?’.

Controllers can be mean. Most of us have large and strong egos because they need to be in order ro resist the pummeling they take on a regular basis. This is a good thing, trust me you want the controller who is excited and loud and confident over the one who is apathetic and uncaring. Unfortunately after enough time on our high pedestal we tend to look down upon the lesser mortals and might start spouting sarcasm. We can be condescending, passive aggressive and patronizing but will never curse at you, at least not on the recorded line. The vitriol slips out now and then, sometimes subtle, sometimes not so much. I think a lot of controllers could benefit from some basic customer service training.

Distractions are one of the safety concerns that we get educated on regularly. It can be anything from someone telling a joke in the background to a tour standing behind you asking questions that subconsciously competes for that limited attention span. Other issues include problems at home, family strife, sick loved ones, or money problems that cause your mind to drift and introduce more risk. These are all known issues that the Agency (FAA) is aware of and spends a ton of money trying to fix. We do have a lot of options that we can use to deal with our drama, but again our egos come into play and we think we are fine to be at work or we don’t want to let down our co-workers or we don’t have any time off left. I do have some strong opinions about these issues, but I’ll save that for another blog post, perhaps after retirement.

There is a lot more that can be improved upon by both sides. Some of the controller issues which I have not mentioned deserve several posts of their own or perhaps a small book to dive into, and I’m not ready to broach those areas yet. It eventually comes down to human beings being flawed and oh yeah, money. I want to give a shout out to all the people who work hard to keep our national airspace safe and efficient. There are some real heroes out there in my industry that work diligently despite the barriers of politics, short sighted hiring and antiquated training practices, to make sure aviators are safe and on time. 

I would also like to thank bizjet and airline pilots for their professionalism and consistent desire for self and passenger preservation. We can’t see everything after all. I am humbled daily by all that you do. I would also like to give a shout out to all the pilot trainers out there. I can’t imagine the guts it takes to sit next to a student pilot and put your life in their hands. I think you’re all crazy. Amazing but crazy.

If I continue posts on this topic, I think I will focus on more instructional philosophy toward air traffic controllers. If there is any particular subject you would like me to go more in depth on, let me know and I will be sure to answer with my completely biased and somewhat professional opinion.

Starting a Cleaning Business

Image by svklimkin from Pixabay

Why would anyone want to start a cleaning business? It’s not something I would have considered until I started considering the conveniences people will actually pay for in the real world. I have all these fantasies about starting a business that revolves around what I want and what I need, but the real money is in what other people need. Cleaning is something a lot of people pay for in Southern California. I grew up cleaning after myself and for many years scoffed at the idea of paying someone else to do something so trivial. In my maturity and continuing trend toward the SoCal lifestyle I see the appeal. I am a busy person and I have paid 40 dollars to have someone clean my car. It took them 20 minutes and a machine did most of the work. I have paid 400 dollars to have my house cleaned. It took them 4 and half hours and I thought, dang, after taxes that’s more than I make in a 10 hour day (8 hours of work plus 2 hours of driving). 

I know from my own searches that finding a good and consistent cleaner can be troublesome. You might wonder, who am I inviting into my home? Are they going to steal my stuff? I feel like this is not too much of a concern with most professional cleaning services. The concerns I have had are more like: What chemicals are they using that my family and pets are going to be exposed to? Did they know they pulled the curtains out of the drywall and if so why didn’t they just tell me? Did they literally sweep everything under the carpet or was that there already? Minor stuff overall, but sometimes annoying. Honestly I don’t have a lot of experience with hiring other people for cleaning, like I said I am usually too cheap and just do it myself.

I believe there is a need in my area for competent and consistent cleaners. I think people will pay a lot of money for such a service. The question is, do I want to be the one to provide that service? I am no spring chicken and the physical aspect alone is daunting. I know I could adapt, but I would hope to hire help relatively soon. I also have this vision in my head of dealing with snobby customers who are ultra perfectionists, doing white glove inspections after each job and publicly complaining. My experience in customer service is limited, but I know people will always find a way to critique. 

I always thought getting a government contract would be the best way to go. Our facility contracts a company to clean the windows, a separate one to clean the shades, and another one to do the basic janitorial work. I have done all these things for an air traffic control tower, because the Marines do not contract people to clean when enlisted people can do it, and it’s all pretty simple. I’m not up on the exact numbers that contractors get these days but I feel like I could meet all of their requirements in about 5 hours a week. I estimate Uncle Sam pays about 1800 dollars for that work. Yeah, 1800 dollars for 5 hours a week. That’s why our Janitor drives a Mercedes and I drive a Nissan. That’s the type of cleaning business I want to have.

Isn’t it funny how you talk to certain people and they look down on certain industries like they are less worthy. I think jobs need to be done, and if you can make money doing it, good for you. I had a friend who would rag on me because I delivered pizza. He was a real estate agent, and I didn’t realize this at the time but I made more money than him. Now he is unemployed and struggling because he’s too good to work a ‘menial’ job. I’ll bet that guy who used to work at Dominoes and now owns 16 franchises would be laughing his ass off from his Laguna Niguel mansion with his 15 cats. Yeah, you know who you are. 

I’m honestly a little worried about pushback from my own family. Not my East coast family, they won’t care. My West coast family, like my wife, California born and raised, is gonna be like; “you wanna do what now?”. Oh and of course my kid at school; “yeah my dad’s a…sanitation engineer…”. Obviously it’s not what I want to do until I drop dead, I just feel like it is a practical business idea that can actually go somewhere with a little discipline and persistence. I like the idea of running a business and watching it grow, improving the numbers. With that in mind I created a little sample business plan with the help of ChatGPT and my own prior experiences such as they are.

Business Plan for California Casual Cleaning Service (The name needs work, I know, just go with it.)

1. Executive Summary

  • Business Name: California Casual Cleaning Service
  • Business Address: Somewhere in Orange County, CA
  • Owner: The one, the only: Mad Mike
  • Services Offered: Residential cleaning (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly), deep cleaning, move-in/move-out cleaning
  • Mission Statement: To provide top-quality, reliable, and affordable residential cleaning services, ensuring our clients’ homes are always stress free, clean and comfortable.

2. Business Objectives

  • Short-term Goals:
    • Secure 10 regular clients within the first 3 months.
    • Achieve a 90% customer satisfaction rate.
  • Long-term Goals:
    • Expand to include commercial cleaning services in 2 years.
    • Grow client base to 100+ regular clients in 5 years.

3. Market Analysis

  • Target Market: Homeowners and renters in Orange County, particularly busy professionals and families.
  • Market Needs: Professional, reliable, and flexible cleaning services.
  • Competitors: Local cleaning companies, national franchises, independent cleaners.
  • Market Trends: Growing demand for eco-friendly cleaning solutions and convenient booking options.

4. Services Offered

  • Standard Cleaning: Dusting, vacuuming, mopping, kitchen and bathroom cleaning.
  • Deep Cleaning: Detailed cleaning including baseboards, behind appliances, and inside cabinets.
  • Move-In/Move-Out Cleaning: Comprehensive cleaning for homes before or after moving.

5. Marketing and Sales Strategy

  • Website: Create a user-friendly website with online booking capabilities.
  • Social Media: Use platforms like Facebook and Instagram to reach local customers.
  • Advertising: Utilize local online classifieds, community boards, and flyers.
  • Promotions: Offer first-time customer discounts and referral incentives.

6. Operations Plan

  • Location: Operate from a home office to reduce overhead costs.
  • Hours of Operation: Monday to Saturday, 8 AM to 6 PM.
  • Suppliers: Source cleaning supplies and equipment from local or online retailers.
  • Staffing: Start with a small team, hiring additional staff as needed based on growth.

7. Financial Plan

  • Startup Costs:
    • Equipment and supplies: $1,000
    • Business registration and insurance: $500
    • Marketing and advertising: $500
    • Miscellaneous: $500
  • Monthly Expenses:
    • Supplies and equipment: $200
    • Insurance: $50
    • Marketing: $100
    • Miscellaneous: $100
  • Pricing Strategy:
    • Standard cleaning: $100 per visit
    • Deep cleaning: $200 per visit
    • Move-in/Move-out cleaning: $250 per visit
  • Revenue Projections:
    • Month 1: $1,500
    • Month 3: $4,000
    • Month 6: $8,000

8. Legal and Administrative Requirements

(So in the beginning I would probably go with a sole proprietorship for the sake of simplicity. I’ve never actually done an LLC, but my understanding is that the LLC model is for a larger business that needs to limit liability on the owner, and look better to more prestigious clients.)

  • Business Structure: LLC for liability protection.
  • Licenses: Obtain a business license from Orange County.
  • Insurance: General liability insurance and bonding.

9. Conclusion California Casual Cleaning Service aims to become a trusted name in residential cleaning in Orange County by providing exceptional service and maintaining high standards of cleanliness and customer care.

I’m going to research the idea of cleaning for a straight hourly wage. I don’t like the idea of being potentially paid 100 dollars for a job that takes 8 hours. I would have to set minimums as well, I’m not thrilled with the prospect of driving 20 minutes to work for an hour, and then having to drive back. I once worked teaching chess to kids after school for 20 dollars an hour as a part time gig. It sounds great and fun on paper, but some of these schools were 35 minutes away, and the class was only an hour long. Yeah, it took me less than a month to realize I made a mistake and I got out as soon as I could. Luckily the classes were only 5 weeks long.

Getting insurance was not something I had initially considered. I feel that something like cleaning should be relatively low risk, right? Unfortunately, Californians do love to sue each other. It’s so scary to think that you could lose everything because some idiot slipped and hurt themselves on a wet floor. Dumber things have happened. I know someone who used to work for a company that did risk evaluation and litigation assistance for construction companies. I heard a lot of stories, but one that got to me was this guy who was running down the sidewalk, tripped and broke something, I can’t remember what. So he sues the owner of the house next to the sidewalk because their tree root had lifted the sidewalk and made him trip. Yes, he won the lawsuit. 

So if I do this, I will shoot for a start date around January 1st 2025, since that seems like a good time to start a business. It seems like relatively little effort to at least try it out and see how it goes. Maybe I won’t get any customers because the need is not as great as I thought. More likely though, I’ll clean a few houses and the customers will be so disappointed with the results, that they don’t call back. I do not underestimate the difficulty of competing with the companies already out there. Let me know if you have tried anything like this and how it worked out. Wish me luck.

First Anniversary

Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

So today marks the one year anniversary for this blog. It is also exactly 2 years until I am eligible for retirement. I had some grand ideas and goals for this blog and to say the results are lackluster would be an understatement. I have 15 posts, about 24,000 words total and 21 subscribers. Those numbers are something I would like to achieve monthly this year. 

I’m pretty sure all of my subscribers are marketers of some kind and I’m not sure how to take that. I do wonder if any of them get anything from my posts or if they are all just hoping I buy something from them. I suppose I should be happy people are looking at all, but I was hoping for a little more engagement. The one comment I have is from one of my best friends and he didn’t even subscribe. In reality, I know it’s hard to build audience engagement when my topics are so scattered. 

I’m still not sure what to focus on. The obvious choice would be something money related since that particular post was by far the most popular. Is that really what I want to do though? Do I want to be just another wannabe financial guru that is really just an affiliate marketer reposting the get rich wisdom of the ages? There is a lot of material to pull from there, and I should know I’ve read dozens of those books. The basic premise all boils down to the same few things though. I can summarize hundreds of hours of reading into a few short words: discipline, perseverance, luck…

Yeah, that’s about the size of it. The Secret? Believe in yourself. The entire point of Think and Grow Rich: Be passionately disciplined and driven. There is a reason why your OCD friend is richer than you. I know there is objectively more to these books, but you can only read so many inspirational stories before they all start to sound the same. Much like marketing websites. After you get drawn in a few dozen times by the flashy headlines and pictures, they all just seem to blend together in a nauseating stream of ads and clickbait. 

I would really like to write a web serial, but am I passionate and disciplined enough to pump out content on a regular basis? I used to do a lot of story creation as a dungeon master for tabletop games. I used to revel in the creative process. After a while the need to come up with new and engaging creative content for my group of five players every Friday became more like work. I burned out and stopped playing for a long time, and when I tried again years later, the passion was gone. I was going through the motions enjoying the social aspect a bit, but almost dreading the game preparation. The press of life as an adult does not seem to lend itself readily to creative insight. Now that my friends and family are so scattered it’s hard to justify the effort to put a tabletop game together when Elder Scrolls is just right there!

On the subject of what I plan to do in two years, I’m still largely undecided. I’m kind of hoping some awesome opportunity is going to land in my lap and make all my decisions for me. Staying in my current job is certainly an option, and looking more likely since I just bought a new car. Stay tuned for a possible upcoming blog post on car buying. Don’t get me wrong if the right opportunity to work from home appeared, I would sell that car in a heartbeat and share a lease with my wife to make the transition more affordable. 

The idea of starting my own small business is sounding more appealing. I still like the idea of an online business but I lack the confidence in my ideas to invest a ton of money into it. I’m considering something where there is a definite need in my area, like house cleaning, or daycare, or pet sitting. I don’t necessarily enjoy any of these things but I like the idea of running a business and trying to get it to the point where I can step away and let my employees take over.

In the end, while the subject of retirement and a second career looms on the horizon, I’m not terribly worried about it. I usually make the best of every situation that comes about. I might procrastinate or get sucked into video games but when the time comes I will step up and do what needs to be done. Sometimes my confidence wavers and part of me thinks I might be getting too old and lazy for something new. Deep down, however, I know I’m still that guy who will power my way through any obstacle. I’m still that kid who worked on a farm for 3 dollars an hour to buy comic books. I’m that kid who biked 85 miles with everything I owned on my back because someone told me I couldn’t. I’m still that guy who renovated an entire house by myself in two weeks. I’m still that guy who hiked Mount Whitney at 44. Don’t give up on me yet.

My Keto Experience

Image by Sarah Kallend from Pixabay

I’ve talked about this a little in some previous posts, but never really got into any detail. The keto diet is a low-carbohydrate, high-fat diet designed to shift your metabolism from relying on glucose (carbohydrates) for energy to relying on ketones (fat). This metabolic state is called ketosis. By significantly reducing carbohydrate intake (less than 30 grams a day for me) and increasing fat consumption, the body is forced to use fat as its primary energy source.

For me, the most difficult issue with this diet was the company I kept. Having family and friends around deviously offering high carb foods and sugary treats was an ongoing distraction. My nemesis, beer, was another big hurdle. I’m sure a lot of people with stressful jobs get this, but at the end of the work day there is this willpower vacuum. Your adrenaline is calming down as you leave work just so you can endure an hour-long drive through traffic to get home and deflate. Nothing sounds better than a burger, some fries and an ice cold beer. Nope, not on keto. You can have a burger with no bun, some cheese, low sugar veggies, and a glass of water.

As a result of temptation, over the course of five months I slipped in and out of ketosis several times and that back and forth kind of sucks. Keto is definitely something you should be prepared to maintain for the long haul. I didn’t measure ketones with special equipment or strips or anything because I never felt that serious about the experiment and it was pretty obvious to me when my metabolic shift occurred. The first time getting into keto consisted of about a week of sluggishness where I felt like I could not sleep enough and a pretty gnarly headache for about 3 of those days. I’ve always struggled with some bad breath issues so I did not notice that symptom in particular and my wife is pretty good at letting me know if it’s a problem. I generally brush and use mouthwash 2 or 3 times a day and use Altoids between meals. Can’t do Altoids on keto, or at least you need to be careful not to do too many.

After about a week my mind became noticeably more clear and my short term energy became more easily accessible. By easily accessible I mean that the period from rest to motion grew shorter. For example getting up off the couch became easier and I didn’t have to stumble around for a few minutes before it felt like my muscles and mind were up to speed. I felt less desire for caffeine. In fact, over the course of 3 weeks I went from a pot a day to zero coffee. It was a weird feeling being at work without a coffee cup. 

The first time I slipped out of keto was only 3 weeks in, but the effect was like being drugged. After a hard day of work, weakness overtook my senses and I decided to relax with a hazy IPA. I barely made it through half the beer when fog seemed to come over my mind and my muscles seemed to become too relaxed. I remember my vision was affected to the point where I couldn’t read words on the tv screen even with my glasses on. When I got up to walk it took effort and my balance was off for about 20 minutes while I experienced an intermittent kind of vertigo. I think it took me about 3 days to get back into keto after that. The fatigue transition was milder and the headache was very minor. Basically, the day after that one beer I felt like I had a very mild hangover. 

The weight loss or the way it worked rather, was quite surprising. Over those first 3 weeks I lost ten pounds, but then I stopped losing weight for a week after that one beer. I figured that those first few pounds were mostly water weight anyway, and I didn’t worry too much. The surprise was that it stopped so completely even though my diet didn’t really change, I think it took almost 2 weeks to drop another pound. 

Another cool effect of keto was the appetite suppression. With the right meal I could eat around 11am, eat another small meal around 6 or 7pm and be satisfied until 11am the next day. This was quite novel for me, because when I’m not on keto I tend to graze with 5 or 6 small meals and snacks throughout the day.

Depending on what you decide to eat on your keto diet it can be a little more expensive and a lot more work than normal meals. For some people the food cost alone could be prohibitive. I’m used to California prices which for a lot of the basics is a little more than triple what my brother pays for the same thing in Maine. I tried a bunch of different things but the one I liked the best was the steak and salad meal plan.  I would buy a large pack of ribeye steaks, preferably  from Costco when they are on sale for $13.99 a pound, and prepare a huge salad to go with them. I went with simplicity for the steaks, seasoning them with olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic powder. The thin ones I would cook in the oven on 350 for about 15 minutes and the thicker ones for maybe 25 minutes. The salad was a bit more work and the ingredients would vary depending on what I had on hand. A typical salad would have lettuce and or spinach, arugula, hard boiled eggs, bacon, cucumbers, almond slivers, pine nuts, walnuts, black and green olives, avocado, and whatever varieties of cheese I had on hand. I used whatever type of salad dressing I wanted or was available, usually some organic variety sold in the refrigerated section. Eating the above meal exclusively I could sit on my butt playing video games eating as much as I wanted and consistently lose 1.5 pounds a week. Sounds easy and amazing right? Well believe it or not steak can actually get boring and making a fresh salad every day with umpteen ingredients is labor intensive. 

Over the next few months I cheated a few times with the transitions in and out of ketosis much less noticeable. I think the longest I stuck to the diet was about six weeks straight. The results after about 5 months was a loss of 22 pounds. I should mention that for about 3 weeks of this stretch I was on vacation and cheated quite a bit but did not gain or lose any weight. I was also very inactive for most of this time mostly because my endurance seemed to be affected. I would try to push up a hill during moderate hike and it was more of a struggle than it should have been. I’m guessing this was a result of a lack of carbs because when I left keto for the holidays my endurance returned just fine.

I stopped keto right before Thanksgiving because I did not feel like restricting myself with all that yummy food available. The transition was pretty smooth and I actually felt pretty good for about 2 weeks, then the weight came back with a vengeance. I was doing longer walks and not eating too terribly but over the course of six weeks I gained back 10 pounds. After the holidays the weight gain slowed a bit but now a year later I’m not quite back where I started, but only a couple of lazy weeks away. To give you an idea of the numbers, I am 5’11 and was 210 pounds when I started the diet and 188 when I consciously quit. I tend to fluctuate a lot with water weight so I weigh myself every morning when I get up for consistency. This morning I was sitting at 202 which is about my average for the last 5 years. 22 pounds does not seem like a lot when I consider that I once lost 11 pounds in one day hiking to the top of mount Whitney and back. It seems pretty good when I consider how much I cheated on the diet and how inactive I was.

Before I wrap up I have some other observations to share regarding what triggered a falling out so to speak versus what did not. Liquid carbs seem to thwart keto faster than solids, and processed, especially baked types of foods cancel keto faster than whole foods. For example, a heavy beer, ice cream or a slice of cake and for me that was pretty much back to square one. Although it seemed quicker to get back in the ketosis state as far as energy and mental benefits each time, the metabolic benefit would basically halt for at least a week. I would have some fruit now and then in my salads, such as dried cranberries, dried blueberries and tomatoes, with no discernible effect. I had small servings of potatoes or hash browns with no ill effect. I never tried eating a whole banana which would probably cross the line. I feel like the diet was more tolerant the longer I sustained it. At one point I had two 12-ounce Miller Lite’s in an hour and did not have an issue. 

I believe the amount of carbs you can have is dependent on your personal metabolism, the types of carbs and the time between consumption. That being said the road is much smoother if you count every carb and don’t experiment. I have heard that some people have trouble finding enough fat, which I find funny because I love cheese. I suppose if you are lactose intolerant then feeding this diet could actually be a challenge. Personally I don’t think keto is for me in the long term because I don’t like closing off so many other delicious options. Plus, I like beer. In closing, it needs mentioning that I am not a doctor or in any way related to the health profession. Nothing I say should be considered medical advice. If you are one of those fortunate people who actually has the ear of a doctor you can trust, by all means consult them before trying keto.

The Marriage Tax Penalty

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich

There is a penalty you should be aware of as you approach the consideration of official marriage.  Due to the way the U.S. tax brackets are structured for married couples filing jointly compared to single filers, it may cost your family a significant amount of money each year.. Essentially, the tax brackets for married couples are not exactly double those of single filers, particularly at higher income levels. This discrepancy leads to a situation where a couple pays more in taxes together than they would if they were each taxed as single individuals on the same income.

For example, if two high earners get married and their combined incomes push them into a higher tax bracket when filing jointly, their taxable income can be subject to a higher tax rate than if they were taxed individually. This issue arises because the tax code is designed to provide benefits for married couples with one earner or with significantly disparate incomes, but it doesn’t scale as evenly for two high earners, resulting in a penalty. Additionally, certain tax credits, deductions, and exemptions phase out at higher income levels, and these phase-outs can begin at lower levels of combined income for married couples than they would for each individual if they were single. This can further contribute to the increased tax burden for high-income married couples. Talk to your tax person before you get married, and as always do your own research. I asked my tax guy specifically if there was anything I should be concerned about tax-wise when I got married. He told me no, and the next tear when I ended having to pay out more than I normally would have got back, I nearly lost my mind. Needless to say, that guy is no longer my tax guy.

There are a lot of issues here that should have been fixed decades ago. I’m not going to rail at the ridiculous state of our politics, but I feel like this is just a simple issue of adjusting the numbers.  There is a real problem with the way that high income is defined. I feel that you can’t just apply the same metric across all households in the country, the numbers should be tweaked yearly based on the economy and your income relative to cost of living. My wife and I together make less than the median income of the town we live in, but we still pay a large penalty each year for the privilege of being legally married. Compared to the rest of the country we might have higher income, but in Southern California we are barely average.  My wife is Catholic and marriage is important to her, but even she has considered the financial benefits of getting a divorce. I don’t really like to think about how much money we have given up for 11 years of marriage but it is likely more than the full cost of my brother’s home in Maine. It will be interesting to see if the institution survives the increased costs of living across the country. 

Is this the beginning of the end for marriage? I doubt it, at least not in our lifetimes. Matrimony is too ingrained in our culture and economy to go away easily. There are also many areas of the country where it is still possible to survive on a single income. I do know plenty of couples though, that have been together for years and have agreed not to get married because of the cost. Some couples even have a wedding to convince their families and just never actually file the paperwork. I have even heard that in some states a couple can get divorced at the end of the year and remarry at the beginning of the next year to avoid the tax burden. I don’t think that would work in California since it takes about 7 months to finalize a divorce. 

So, if you are in this position how do you avoid some of the tax burden? Many people will not be able to avoid the penalty completely but there are some things you can do to minimize the damage. Ask your tax person if filing separately instead of jointly will help. Make sure you maximize your pre-tax retirement contributions like 401(k)s and IRAs. Consider a Health Savings Account or a Flexible Spending Account to reduce your taxable income. Live in your own house instead of renting, you can reduce your tax burden significantly with all the itemized deductions available from owning a home. If you have rental properties consider getting your real estate license so you can write off more passive income each year. There are more options which a better educated financial planner can help you with, especially if you are a business owner.

Whatever your situation, it is good to know that you can save a lot of money by accounting for taxes. For many people, getting married might actually save you money! If you own your house or multiple homes, and or have a business it is probably worth the expense to get some professional tax advice. I tried doing my own taxes a few years ago and simply could not get the same numbers as my current CPA. I estimate that he saves me on average, 7 times what I pay him, by finding deductions and loopholes I would not have thought of. Good luck and safe bookkeeping. The deep waters of the American tax code is no place for amateurs.

Money

Photo by Pixabay

I would hate to say that everything I know about money can be boiled down to a blog post, but since I don’t want to be too specific, this format will do for a summary. First of all, why do I get to talk about money? What are my credentials? I am not particularly wealthy for where I live and I do not have any formal education in finance. I suppose you could say that my information is for the average working person. I do not have advice on how to amass vast amounts of wealth, but I do have a lot of experience trying different things and I have a lot of regrets about what I did not do.

My experience is with doing real work with a smattering of real estate investment knowledge. I am in a position where I could retire at 51 years old, relocate somewhere affordable and live fairly comfortably without ever having to work again. That is not what I am likely to do, but it is a possibility. I own 2 rental properties and a home within 5 miles of the ocean in southern California. I did not come from money. I moved out on my own when I was 17 and my Mom made 14k a year supporting a family of 5. My initial victories in life came from having a chip on my shoulder because of my background. I have long been an example of the work harder not smarter road to success. I am still trying to change that.

So my basic advice to a person graduating high school applies to those who do not have a family who can pay for your college, or do not have the opportunities of nepotism for getting a good job. Get a basic full time job that has a 401k and health and dental benefits. You can accomplish this by working at Starbucks, as an example. Put at least 5% of your money into that 401k, your company should match your contribution. Select a plan with aggressive growth, if that is an option, and transfer it to more stable investments when you are much older. Take at least ten percent of your income and put it into something like an index fund that consistently earns over 8% per year. Buy a house as soon as you can. Retire in your 40’s as a multi-millionaire. Ok, maybe it’s not that simple, but we’ll expand on that in a bit.

       I have pretty mixed feelings about college. I appreciate the need for ongoing education, but I believe most of the esteemed institutions in this county are money grubbing scams. I believe that education should be more specialized and provided primarily by the employer. I also understand that some people need a structured environment in order to learn. It just seems hard to justify spending huge amounts of money to acquire knowledge that either already is, or should be, free. It drives me crazy that so many companies require that piece of paper that means you will be paying off student loans for years and probably never shake the alcohol and drug dependencies you acquired from long nights studying and partying. It is gratifying to know, however, that more and more people are seeing through the business model that colleges and big companies have set up for their mutual benefit. Sigh, I know it’s more complex than that but this is supposed to be a blog about money so I’ll keep it simple.

I do not have a college degree. I took a lot of college classes, but with the direction my career was going and the expense and time sink involved I decided it was not practical to finish. So I have 120 credits in a variety of subjects that add up to about 30k that I will never get back. Most of the people I know in my age group that do have college degrees make less money than I do. My wife is a geologist with over 10 years of experience and I made 50k more than her last year. That being said, she had a lot more fun in her early life than I did. Like I said, I spent a lot of time on the harder, not smarter approach to life. I would also like to note that if I had taken just half of the money I have spent on alcohol and chasing women over the years, and instead made some basic investments, I could have retired as a multi-millionaire over a decade ago. We all like to have fun when we’re young.

Injecting more hypocrisy, I do not want my son to go down the same path that I did. I do not want him to be in the military, work for the police department, deliver pizza or be an air traffic controller. None of those professions are fulfilling or in any way conducive to a happy stable state of mind. I don’t necessarily want him to have an easy time either. No one should have life completely delivered to them without work. Challenge builds character, however, too much challenge builds cynicism. My wife and I agree that a community college followed by an inexpensive university would be beneficial to his worldly development. If he becomes a millionaire YouTube star in high school, however, I will be just as happy.

Don’t underestimate the power of compounding interest. I’m not going to get into the math, there are plenty of calculators online. The idea is that the interest you earn on your investments also earns interest, this combined with time creates wealth. The key is time, which is why you start young, with your first source of income, no matter what it is. I would recommend also reading up on the great Warren Buffet and how compound interest worked out for him. Let’s say you followed the above advice when you were 18 and did just the basic investments and received appropriate above inflation raises for 25 years. You would probably have close to 2 million in your investment portfolio by age 43. And that is in yesterday’s dollars, imagine how much you will have if you are a kid graduating high school today and start investing. Now imagine that you also bought a house near a major city like San Diego 20 years ago and spent half your income on that. If you continued to contribute half of your increasing income, your home would be paid for and also worth well over a million dollars. Thus, you are a multi-millionaire at 43. 

This scenario obviously makes a lot of assumptions. First we assume that you are trying to work your way up in the world and getting decent raises or you are transferring to jobs that will pay you more. Look for raises. If they are not coming, look for other work. Constantly educate yourself and update your resume. Always be looking for new opportunities. If you are having trouble getting by and/or you don’t like your job you should be filling out at least one new application every day. If you know you are a good worker you should be going into each interview with your own list of questions that are along the line of ‘what can you as an employer offer me’. That being said, don’t burn your bridges. If you leave a job, do it in such a way that there is a return path if you need it. Don’t screw over your co-workers or your boss because you think you’ll never see them again. You never know what life will throw at you. If you are not a great worker or don’t have the skills you need, own it. Offer to intern for free or ask what skills you need to get the job and go out and get them. Don’t be afraid to move. In states like Maine work is scarce and good jobs are even harder to find. In California there are not enough people who want to work so we have to import workers from other countries. I once filled out sixty applications in a week in Bangor Maine, and got 2 call backs. Just on a whim, I walked into the first place that I thought would be compatible with my schedule for a second job in California. I needed some extra cash while my wife was taking some time off work with our newborn child. I applied to the Papa John’s down the street from me in San Clemente, and they asked if I could start that evening. My wife tried to be a stay at home Mom for a while. So many people kept calling her with offers to come back to work she eventually gave in for a sweet work from home consulting gig. It’s a different world, however, at least in Maine you can easily get by with a single crappy job. Don’t be afraid to work multiple jobs. You make extra cash, you save money because you don’t have time to spend it and you meet lots of interesting people. It should be a means to an end, however, the goal should always be a single job that can pay all the bills. 

What exactly does moving up look like? This question has different answers for different lines of work but the basics are the same. Time and experience are usually the great dividers. If I have been working 5 years at a job and know how to do A through G, I should get paid more than someone brand new who can barely do A and B. If you like your job and really want to move up, I suggest being a yes man (person). I kind of cringe just saying that because of some bad experiences. Just keep in mind that if you say yes to every job and you actually get things done you will create a reputation for yourself that will cause more work to flow your way. You will be taken advantage of and become overwhelmed. The upside is a rapidly expanding resume. When I was a young Marine my dumb ass said yes to everything. It should be noted that an E-5 in the military with 12 different billets gets paid the exact same as an E-5 with zero billets. Promotion in the military and the government in general has very little to do with how productive you are or how well you actually know your job. I’m not going to get into this now, but the point is it is deceptively easy to get roped into working a lot harder than some people for the same pay. What you should be after, however, especially when you are younger, is experience. The Marines provided me with some of the most valuable aspects of experience that can carry over into every business: Leadership and Management. I may address this in a separate blog, because being in charge is a whole other game. My wife and I have been down this road and now we seek to avoid it when possible. If you are charismatic and enjoy working with people, however, nothing gives a boost up that ladder better than having documented experience leading and managing.

Another assumption is that you invested well. There are a lot of resources to help you with this, but start with your 401k and expand from there. I don’t recommend crypto or day trading unless you have a special skill set. If you have extra cash or are into the Stoic lifestyle, invest in some index funds. Find a financial adviser if you want to go beyond that. Don’t take anything on faith, do your own research. If you are under 40 be aggressive. If you are under 30, be really aggressive! Buy a house, in fact buy several if you can. My real estate investments are by far the most successful. They are the rock on which I can confidently plan a valid retirement and build long term wealth that can be passed on to my son.

If you are like many Californians today you are probably reading this thinking, ‘yeah right how the hell do I buy a house in this economy?’ You are right to be frustrated, it’s not an easy proposition. Coming from the military, I was fortunate enough to have a ‘no-money down option’. FHA loans are another option that only require 3% down, but there are a number of hoops to jump through, and extra insurance requirements that make this option less than palatable for some. Other options include seller financing which is tough, but can be feasible especially if a friend or family member is selling and they are willing to do a contract with you. There are a lot of ways seller financing can work but basically the seller gets little or no money up front, unless you work out a partial loan with a bank. All the mortgage payments go directly to the seller. It’s kind of like the seller is doing a reverse mortgage, but you are paying them instead of the bank. They end up getting the value of their home plus interest or whatever you negotiate, it just takes longer. Rent to own is another option, similar to seller financing but you don’t necessarily have to commit right away. It will probably cost you a bit more as well. Keep in mind that the above options are my simplified understanding and may not be more than 25% correct, but knowing those options are out there will prompt you to look for them and research them. Your agent has very little interest in showing you options which create more work for them or will circumvent their commission. There are literally hundreds of books out there that will tell you about the various unconventional ways to finance a house, but it has to work for your income. Agents and financial institutions will totally sell you a house you can’t afford and leave you to figure out the details. I know, it happened to me twice. This is part of the reason why I have worked a lot of second jobs and or rented out extra rooms in my house.

The most common and easiest way to finance, assuming you can’t just pay cash for the whole house, is the conventional way, with a ridiculous down payment. I have never had to save for a full down payment so I can only give you advice from my reading, and stories I’ve heard. When you are first starting out it can seem impossible to save, but where there is a will, there is a way. You can start by renting the crappiest little hovel in town and sharing the rent with five other people. You laugh but I’ve actually done this, my share of the rent in the 4 bedroom house in Old Town, Maine was 132 dollars a month including all utilities. Good times. 

Other ways to get the down payment include the famous top ramen diet. Get a pack of multivitamins and buy a year’s worth of noodles for $200. Be an introvert and start a side hustle like Ebay sales. Sell all your old toys. You don’t really need that 20,000 dollar collection of Magic the Gathering cards any more do you? On a more serious note you can get a loan from your family or even a bank. I’ve totally heard of people getting a $60,000 loan from a bank to put as a down payment on a $200,000 house and just paying the 2 loans. Are you handy? Look for a fixer upper no one else wants and get an amazing deal. Remember to negotiate. I’ve heard of the seller actually providing the down payment as a loan so that the buyer could get a conventional loan without the upfront cash. Nurse your credit rating, you have many more options with an 800 credit score vs a 600 credit score.

House-hopping is a valid method of building wealth for us normal people if you have the inclination for it. I sort of did this out of necessity, but I know some folks who did this intentionally to great effect. This is different from flipping houses in that you actually live in them for a while. The idea is you buy a run down house in a desirable area and live in it until you fix it up enough to make it rent-worthy. Try to add value to the property by adding an extra bedroom or bathroom if you can. You then rent it out for 2 years while you live in an apartment and save money. Two years is how much tax return history you need on your rental property in order to have it be considered income for the purposes of your next loan application. If you do not have 2 years of rental income history, it will be much more challenging to get approved for a second mortgage because your lender will assume you have to pay both mortgages thus destroying your debt to income ratio. So after renting for 2 years you use your savings as a down-payment on a second home, live in it until it is fixed, then rent it out while you rent an apartment. If you do this smartly you could acquire another property every three years or so. It seems slow but if you buy in good areas these properties will pay for themselves and provide additional income. The equity you have in your homes will allow you to purchase larger (multi-unit) properties which will accelerate your growth to as much as you can handle. You could go from high school to real estate mogul in 10-20 years!

You can accelerate this strategy in several ways if you are savvy. Buying in the right area is key, and there are separate books written on this subject alone. All of my properties are in San Diego County and Orange County California, and I have been fairly fortunate. If you can get friends or family to invest with you this can help speed things up. Make sure you cover your ass by getting the right contracts in place. Don’t be afraid to start an LLC or something. Get legal advice. A handshake between friends seems great until there’s a couple hundred grand on the table and the disagreements begin. Buying at the right time also helps, but timing the market can be tough. I know people who have been waiting since 2017 to buy a home because they keep thinking ‘the bubble is going to burst any day now’. You can leverage other assets to buy properties more quickly, but don’t dig yourself a hole you can’t get out of. I’ve touched on seller financing as a way to avoid a lot of the restrictions that lending institutions have. If you are a good networker there are other options, but I’m not going to get into them since they are all variations on the same idea: use other people’s money to help you make money. If you are married, the house hopping strategy probably isn’t for you, though I have known couples who were into it. If you want to settle down and have kids, moving every couple years is not very practical. 

I talk about real estate a lot because it is what I know the most about and what I am the most comfortable with. There are certainly easier and faster ways to acquire wealth but they are generally more high risk. Please don’t take any of my advice as gospel. I am not a financial advisor or a life coach, I’m just trying to share some wisdom based on my personal experiences. Read books, talk to people who have done what you want to do. Educate yourself, take classes, and acquire skills. Most importantly, get out there and try stuff. Stay low risk if you want, but get as much experience as you can when you’re young so you can make better, more well informed decisions about how to spend your time when you’re older and have less of it.

Imagination

Photo by Rakicevic Nenadman

Remember when you were a kid and you could run around all day with nothing but some friends and the great outdoors and the possibilities seemed limitless? What ever happened to that time? In my youth the internet did not yet exist, we watched very little television and the radio seemed to embody all the mysteries of the universe. I did not grow up with wealth and many common child distractions were out of reach until my teens, when I started to earn some money of my own. Yet I don’t feel like I missed out on much. I may have never seen Disneyland as a child or had a large collection of Star Wars toys, but I had the wilderness and freedom and my imagination.

I sometimes wonder if my own son has the same ability to make a magical world out of nothing except his mind and his environment. He often seems dependent on video games, television and direct parental interaction. He does not generally like to play outdoors and seems to only enjoy his friends in small doses. Though he is often absorbed by the desire for video entertainment and physical toys, I still see his ability to create something from nothing. It seems hard to compare my background to his since my son always has some kind of stimulation available to him. This is where I see that to him, a lack of stimulation just means not having something new. Sometimes this is what he wants, and he will retreat to his room and arrange his stuffed animals, build a blanket fort, or just lay in his bed cuddle his dog and listen to music. Other times he gets this creative drive and hunts down a toy or game he hasn’t played in months and tries something new with it. Another sign of this innate creativity is when he breaks out the Legos, or Minecraft or a sketch pad and just creates new buildings, cities or drawings for hours straight. I think that having the time to just dump hours into random creative expression is one of the key elements of sustaining creativity that we adults tend to miss out on.

It seems that, as we age, the weight of responsibility and the stress of day to day life suppresses our once active imaginations. Perhaps our adult brains see the skill as less practical and so as we stop flexing this muscle, it atrophies in favor of more pragmatic thought processes. Is there anything we can do to slow this process down or reverse it? Do we want to? What would be the cost? I feel that the ability to think outside of the box is useful in almost every scenario. If we want to be more successful, wealthy and healthy, imagination is a skill set we should definitely spend some time cultivating. As a manager, one’s problem solving ability is related to their experience and ability to creatively apply it to new situations. As a real estate investor, one may be denied financing by dozens of banks or go through several realtors who believe that a second or third property cannot be purchased with non-standard  or creative financing. Sometimes professionals are so blinded by the standard way of doing things, they are blind to the other less common options. As an athlete who wants to lose weight or eat healthy, one must often come up with creative ways to remain on track and stay disciplined when others are not supportive or temptation is around every corner.

Please do not confuse imagination and creativity with discipline and motivation. Imagination can solve problems by envisioning a solution or be the spark of inspiration for a lucrative idea. Discipline is how you follow through with these ideas and stay with them until completion. Even if you are an artist, maybe inspiration helped you make a painting, but discipline makes a career with income. If you are a writer then you know that creativity is an outline that will never be a book without discipline.

For the purpose of this post lets define imagination as your ability to solve unique problems and generate new ideas. Your brain has gone stagnant from years of the nine to five grind, cooking dinner, doing dishes, laundry, and changing diapers. Now you want some of that child-like desire for something different, something new, something that is uniquely yours. Maybe you want something more interesting for dinner, maybe you want to be more in tune with your kids, or maybe you want to creatively outsource all those household chores. Whatever your goals, I hope you find some value in the following suggestions for improving your imagination.

Reading books, especially fiction, exposes you to new worlds, ideas, and perspectives. It can stimulate your imagination by allowing you to visualize scenarios, characters, and places. I prefer fantasy and science fiction to get my fix. If I get transported somewhere for original ideas I certainly don’t want it to be in the real world. Also as a wanna-be fantasy author I feel that that genre fits my goals the best. I also find value in video games and tabletop role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons for priming that spark. Playing video games with my son is especially enlightening as he still has that random creative perspective I’m looking for that can’t really be re-created any other way. 

Carry a journal or use a digital app to jot down your thoughts, observations, and ideas throughout the day. This practice can help you notice interesting details in the world around you and induce creative thinking. This is especially handy for a prospective author or when you are the Dungeon Master for a Dungeons and Dragons group. I once saw a pair of small birds harassing a crow and jotted down this idea for incorporeal fey spirits that would possess animals so they could attack humans encroaching on their land. It’s amazing which images and ideas can trigger random thoughts. I also used to keep a journal by my bed so that I could write down my dreams and draw upon ideas from my subconscious. I seldom remember my dreams anymore and that’s just sad. It’s a sure sign of stress and a rigid lifestyle and a great reason for me to follow my own advice in this post.

Practicing Mindfulness and Meditation can help clear your mind of clutter and stress, making room for more creative thoughts. Mindfulness encourages you to notice details in your environment that you might otherwise overlook. Meditation can quiet the background noise in your mind and open you to a higher state that encourages inspired answers. Eckhart Tolle compared the perfect meditation to being in touch with an infinite intelligence that some believe is a direct connection to the divine. Check out my happiness posts for more information or better yet check out Tolle’s books like the Power of Now. Keep an open mind. I’m not even close to being a religious person, but I can attest to the practical value of effectively managing your inner voices. 

Engage with various forms of art, such as painting, music, theater, and dance. Participating in or even just appreciating different forms of artistic expression can inspire new ideas and ways of thinking. Some personal examples for me include the Black Magic Crafts YouTube channel. I was inspired by the creation of tabletop props using styrofoam and cardboard. I never did anything lucrative with it but I had fun building some environments for D&D miniatures and especially loved building some little play areas for Hot Wheels with my kiddo. Music is something I have always enjoyed listening to. Some of my favorite bands for inspirational listening include Led Zeppelin, Metallica and R.E.M. Another surprisingly inspirational activity for me as a fantasy writer was Salsa dancing. I remember when I finally became good enough to improvise moves on the fly and create my own combination instead of just a single choreographed routine. It was like this bell went off in my head and I thought ‘oh this is how sword fighting is sometimes described when two opponents are using variable forms, chaining combinations and countering each other’. I also gained a keen appreciation of footwork and balance while dancing that I never quite obtained with martial arts.

Puzzles, strategy games, and brain teasers can challenge your problem-solving skills and encourage you to think in innovative ways. In addition to a variety of video games, we also play board and card games like Risk, Settlers of Catan, Magic the Gathering and Dominion to name a few.  You never really think about how much strategy is involved in something that seems like a roll of the dice until you lose six times in a row to your wife while playing Risk. Other games help one to understand the difficulties of resource management and competition when settling a new area. I got the idea for a ‘mana-flow’ game mechanic for one of my half built role playing games from playing MTG. 

Experiencing new places, cultures, and people can broaden your perspective and inspire new ideas. If you can’t travel far, try exploring new areas in your local community. Hiking is my favorite mode of exploration. It helps to clear my mind and I can’t help but imagine myself in a fantasy setting, especially when surrounded by the towering trees and majestic vistas of Sequoia and Yosemite national parks. Exploring Japan opened my eyes to a new world of hidden temples and amazing sculpted gardens woven into the middle of towering skyscrapers in such a way that you feel transported to a new world. The multi-floored train stations with grocery stores underneath and department stores on top give one a unique appreciation for the economy of space. 

Sharing ideas and working on projects with people who have different skills and perspectives can spark creativity. Collaboration can lead to the combination of ideas in ways you might not have thought of on your own. No matter how experienced or diligent you are, other people will always be able to surprise you. Everybody brings their own experience to the table and innovation can arrive even amidst the strain of conflict. I remember leading a work group on a couple different occasions where other members brought up ideas that I thought were so stupid and wasteful it blew my mind. I had to stop and check myself, however, because these people were respected professionals, and their brains worked in such a way that to them, these were legitimate issues. I had to assess my own values in those situations. I can’t say that my overall opinions about wasting resources changed, but we compromised, and learning occurred on all fronts.

Improving your imagination is a process that involves curiosity, openness to new experiences, and the willingness to explore and experiment. By incorporating these practices into your life, you can develop a richer, more creative imagination. So travel to new places, meet new people and try different food. Experience what life has to offer and soak it up. Put yourself in the shoes of others and envision their wants and needs and how you can help them achieve their goals. Above all seek out that inner child, and learn from them.

Driving

Photo by Tomáš Malík

There is a book called “Outliers” by Malcom Gladwell that talks about the qualities that distinguish some of the most successful people. One of the statistical properties they tend to have in common  is more than 10,000 hours of time devoted to a particular skill set at a relatively young age. This gives them a huge advantage compared to their competitors. When I apply the 10,000 hour concept to myself I only have 2 skills that fall into that category; air traffic control, and driving. Air traffic because that has been my career and I have over 20 years of experience, and driving because I figure 500,000 gets me there, even at an average pace of 40 mph which I will take since most of my miles are highway miles.

I think a lot of people would say that driving does not count because once you get to a certain point you don’t really get better because you don’t push yourself to improve, unless you are a race car driver. In my opinion, however, almost ten years as a pizza delivery driver counts as striving for improvement. There are so many little tricks and techniques you learn when your income depends on the  speed of your delivery, I could probably write a book about it. Most of these tricks are ones that everyone eventually picks up on like cutting through the gas station parking lot to avoid a backed up turn signal, using back roads instead of the main drag on a busy day, taking a turn from the outside lane so you can corner quicker or timing a cold red light by looking at the side lights so you can hit the intersection at speed instead of coming to a complete stop. These and many other less than legal techniques just sort of come naturally after driving in the same area for many years.

You may be  thinking that my income can’t possibly depend on the speed of delivery. Well, look at it from the customer’s perspective.Very few people care that the store is backed up or a driver called out sick, and they are somehow surprised and disappointed when they order 10 large pizzas on a Saturday night and the manager says it will take 2 hours. Or worse the manager says it will take 40 minutes when it will actually take 2 hours. You personally may be pretty mellow about it, but for most people, when that pizza arrives an hour late and it is cold and congealed, it’s the driver’s fault and they will most likely withhold a tip. I have found that just a little extra speed is conducive to increasing the likelihood of getting the order to the customer before they reach the tipping point of rage and your tip goes from 5 dollars to non-existent. Customers get hangry and take it out on the drivers because that’s who they interact with. Anyway, I could go on but I will just complete this rant by cautioning fellow drivers and mentioning that obeying the traffic rules will statistically lead to a less stressful and longer career.

On to the good stuff. One of the more useful things I picked up from delivery driving is the way of the traffic light. I explained this piece of circular enlightenment to an audience when I interviewed for a 9-1-1 dispatcher job after being asked to explain how I used prioritization in my previous job. They were probably expecting me to talk about air traffic control because they knew that’s where I was coming from in the military. That would have been way too easy. So I explained how when I leave the store with six deliveries I take a good look at the map (yes this was before everyone had a smartphone), and plan out my route using a right circular pattern. Of course the known largest tipping customer is first unless they are too far out of the way(prioritization), and then the rest of the deliveries will be completed by sequential right turns that eventually take me back to the store. There are a lot more variables but you get the gist. The fact is that a left turn can take up to 3 minutes at any given traffic light, 4 left turns could put you 12 minutes behind and that’s assuming you don’t have to wait through several revolutions of that particular light. You gotta love the Southern California summer traffic. Most right turns only take 10-30 seconds. When I explained this to my interviewers, the dispatch manager, fire chief and police chief were slack jawed as if in  appreciation of an almost spiritual revalation, or they just thought I was nuts. We can’t all just go code 3 and run the red lights while everyone moves out of the way. I guess they enjoyed my sermon though, because I got the job even though I couldn’t type very fast. So yeah, common sense for most delivery drivers, but not something other people think about. It’s become a habit at this point, I still use it when I’m running errands. 

These days most of my driving is on the highway, about seventy miles a day on the I-5 between San Clemente and Carlsbad, California. For those of you that have driven in this area you know that there is an 18 mile stretch through Camp Pendleton that is a virtual American Autobahn. I generally set my cruise at 85 in the morning on the way to work and I routinely get passed like I’m standing still. I’m no stranger to the old triple digit road slalom, but it’s not something I recommend. I know it can be fun and you feel like you’re saving time, but the fact is, it creates unnecessary danger for you and everyone around you. As an older family man I am not nearly as comfortable driving fast anymore, I’m even less comfortable with other morons trying to drive fast around me. I suppose part of me realizes that I’m reaping the karma from formerly being the biggest a-hole on the road. 

For the kids out there who are still in a hurry for no reason or just have an untamable competitive driving habit, here are some things to think about. Number one, if you get caught by the cops going fast enough, they can take your license, impound your car and send you to jail. Yup, just for speeding. Number two your tires are probably not meant to hold up at 120+ mph swerving back and forth across the hot pavement. I had a sports car once with tires rated for 140 mph. The tires cost 500 bucks a piece and wore out after 30,000 miles because I drove like an idiot. If you are young and stupid like most normal inexperienced drivers, chances are you can’t afford nice tires. Just envision to yourself what will happen when the tires on your 2008 Altima, that already have 80,000 miles on them, give out on you. Point number three is that when you have a blow out and lose control of your car or some other misfortune causes you to careen into the median or a semi truck at 100+ mph, you are probably going to die, or worse really wish you had. Yes, I would quite rather be dead than be that poor guy in the iconic Metallica music video “One”, thank you very much.

Another ethical chain of thought you might want to consider are the other drivers on the road. How bad would you feel if you were responsible for the death of a minivan full of kids because you just had to get home three minutes and twenty-five seconds sooner? I’m not saying you can’t drive relatively fast and be relatively safe, you just need to read the road so to speak. This goes for slow pokes as well. If you are driving 45 in the middle lane when the average traffic is going 70, you are now the obstacle and creating a danger to those around you. Please pull over to the side of the road and stop your car when you look at directions on your phone. Even better, wait until the next exit and get off and look at your phone in a parking lot. It’s a pain to get back up to highway speed and merge from the break-down lane.

Do you ever think about the psychology of other drivers or what sorts of things are statistically dangerous? I remember being a kid seeing all kinds of propaganda on how to be a safe driver. Remember the red asphalt videos? Do they still have those? After I became an adult those reminders seem to fade into the background. You would still see the occasional TV ad that warned about drinking and driving or the radio would reiterate the dangers of talking on your cell phone. I don’t know about you but I don’t watch TV with ads anymore and I am generally listening to Audible or Amazon Music when I drive, so again no reminders. Well there is the occasional accident on the side of the road that may serve as a wake up call, but how many of us drift into complacency more and more every day? Let me help you out by describing some signs that indicate you may be casually disregarding the significance of your life, the lives of your passengers and the other drivers around you.

Do you change lanes more than once every ten minutes? Lane changes are one of the leading causes of accidents in California. Try to pick a lane and stay there for the majority of your drive, even if it’s the fast lane. If people start passing on your right you might want to think about changing lanes so that you are not the obstruction. Do you ride in peoples’ blind spots? This means just sitting in the four or eight o’clock position of another vehicle where they can’t see you and matching their speed with no intent to pass. This always feels like an aggressive move to me. I feel like that person must know what they are doing and they are messing with me. It makes my hackles rise because I have seen how it plays out. Imagine you are so out of touch with your situational awareness that you are riding in the blind spot of someone who likes to change lanes every two minutes. Now your safety is dependent on that lane changer noticing that you are there. Combine that with how many people seem to slow down when they are changing lanes and the odds against you just pile up. Do you like to tailgate people to let them know they are slow and should move out of your way? Hmm, reflexes like a jedi, you must have. Plus when they brake check you and you rear end that slow poke, you are 100% at fault and up go your insurance rates. If you ride a motorcycle and you do dumb stuff you should understand that you are like 30 times more likely to come out of every bad situation worse than me, so good luck.

That all being said, I do tend to drive more aggressively than most people, though I tend to avoid all the above situations out of courtesy to my fellow drivers. I do not own a motorcycle. For you passive unaware drivers I also have some advice. The fast lane is not for long distance, it is for speed. Just because you have a 200 mile drive does not mean you should stay in the far left lane if you are diving 10 mph slower than everyone else. Forcing everyone to pass on the right is not cool. Also, if you suddenly decide you want to drive 67 mph and pass that car in front of you doing 65, you should look in your rear view mirror first and not cut off the car doing 90. Forcing someone to slam on their bakes just because you can is also not cool. Doing it because you did not even look for them is even worse. There will unfortunately always be those drivers out there that are blissfully unconcerned about the world around them and remain in their unbothered little world oblivious to the anger and discontent they may cause. They sadly do not realize how many mentally unstable people carry firearms in their vehicle and have nothing to lose.

So this post went longer than expected and definitely went away from the typical subjects I cling to. I expect to be doing this more often since it is easy and seems to satisfy some deep seeded need that I have. For that reason I will start a category called the Ravings of Mad Mike to segregate these rants from the more useful subjects. Please take everything I say in these rants with a grain of salt. These are my slightly biased, almost completely unresearched opinions and should not significantly affect how you live your life.